Story Time

I could be good at clearing a library’s kid’s 'story time' by telling how “I was attacked by a shark, this long scar is where he took the first bite to see if I was tasty or old chum.”

<Here  a short digression into the horrors of chum.>

“And this scar is where he tried to bite my head off, but missed and instead ripped open my chest.  To force him to let go I pushed my swimming goggles up his nose, which really made him cross.  He swam in a circle around me for about 15 minutes, though it felt like an hour, all the while looking at me with evil in his eyes and goggles in his nose.  Then he <dramatic pause> <in a VERY LOUD voice> swooped in and chomped off my leg!”

<at this point I stand up and lift my leg free of  my prosthetic, which clatters to the floor.  I move my arms in imitation of a giant mouth, fingers for teeth, and make "Aaaarrrrgggg" sounds as I pan across the room.  Of course, having only one leg, I immediately fall over, no doubt into a folding chair that makes a crash and adds to the pandemonium.>

At this point the children run screaming from the room with their arms held high and hands flapping, screaming “Ahhhhhhh”.  Worried mothers peek around the door…

Sheer beauty.

c 2007  Deborah Bolle

N.B.:  The description of my body is accurate, but the description of how it got that way is not.