OK, a friend has visited, and after they leave you notice they have put a new roll of TP on the bathroom holder. That's nice, you think to yourself.
Then you notice: It is on BACKWARDS!
Do you:
Not even notice such things?
Do nothing?
Take it out and turn it around?
Find that taking it out has left it lumpy and unround, so take it out again and discard it and install new roll?
Do nothing, but every time you use TP you seethe with fury. However the next time you change it, you put it on backwards again, just to show yourself that you can be flexible, it is not a big deal, doesn't really matter to me, la dee da... But the NEXT time you put it on correctly, and are toying with the idea of putting the spare TP into a locked cabinet, so the whole messy affair doesn't get repeated?
Put a little diagram next to the holder, detailing the correct method of mounting?
Remove the TP holder altogether and put the roll on the nearby cabinet?
Draw an outline with magic marker where the TP is to be placed?
Decide that the magic marker looks tacky and put down a doily with double stick tape?
Write on the doily with magic marker explaining that the TP is to be placed there?
Decide to poll your friends, and spend an hour crafting a note to them?
Realize you only have one friend who will understand the problem?
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<br />This work is licensed under a
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OK, a friend has visited, and after they leave you notice they have put a new roll of TP on the bathroom holder. That's nice, you think to yourself.
Then you notice: It is on BACKWARDS!
Do you:
Not even notice such things?
Do nothing?
Take it out and turn it around?
Find that taking it out has left it lumpy and unround, so take it out again and discard it and install new roll?
Do nothing, but every time you use TP you seethe with fury. However the next time you change it, you put it on backwards again, just to show yourself that you can be flexible, it is not a big deal, doesn't really matter to me, la dee da... But the NEXT time you put it on correctly, and are toying with the idea of putting the spare TP into a locked cabinet, so the whole messy affair doesn't get repeated?
Put a little diagram next to the holder, detailing the correct method of mounting?
Remove the TP holder altogether and put the roll on the nearby cabinet?
Draw an outline with magic marker where the TP is to be placed?
Decide that the magic marker looks tacky and put down a doily with double stick tape?
Write on the doily with magic marker explaining that the TP is to be placed there?
Decide to poll your friends, and spend an hour crafting a note to them?
Realize you only have one friend who will understand the problem?
<a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/us/">
<img alt="Creative Commons License" style="border-width:0" src="http://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nc-nd/3.0/us/88x31.png" />
</a>
<br />This work is licensed under a
<a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/us/">Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License</a>.
I get no response
except being ignored.
Attempts to interact
are rebuked.
If you were to open my lid
You would see i am empty
But the suction of the vacuum
Keeps the lid on.
This vacuum pulls at my walls
The sensation is the turmoil of a black hole
bits flying chaotically
before disappearing.
Where was i
when i should have been filling up?
already full
of stress.
I am already dead
these movements are
only twitches and spasms.
I am death's rattle.
I am trying to collapse
into the black hole
of my heart
and disappear
copyright 2007 Deborah Bolle
Last night i dreamed i was at a group function with 16 or 20 peeps. big kinda dark place, suddenly we were to pair up and swap clothes. we were all a little surprised - swap underwear too??? Yes, this was an exercise about putting yourself in another's place and seeing their points of views. Pretty strange.
shades of being last picked for dodge ball. i could find no one not paired, and finally raised my hand and called out. the only person unpaired was a sour looking woman. she didn't want to swap underwear, and disappeared. Other folks played with little stickers they put on their hands and had fun.
Fall
I love to walk in the woods
when the damp earth is covered
by inches of papery crunch;
I try to shuffle quietly
enough to see wildlife.
Then watch the chill wind
tearing the last tatters of vestments
from the trees
who continue to raise their branches
to the sky in silent worship.
copyright 2007 Deborah Bolle
What is...
It seems strange to me that I must append codicils
when I tell someone that I love them.
"love, a word I don't toss about lightly,
neither do I keep it locked away.
Nor do i intend it to mean more
than makes you comfortable."
Or, "Please forgive me, I love you."
Or, "I hope you don't mind if i say
a prayer for you."
"I don't wish to make you uncomfortable,
but you are amazing."
What if i don't know what love is?
When, every day, your partner leaves her dirty breakfast dishes
because she is running late (again),
is it love not to be angry?
And even to do them yourself - not because they are in your way,
or because you are anal,
but because you would rather do them so that she doesn't have to.
Of course I love her.
She actually allows me
to get close enough
to touch
her.
Of course I love her.
Would one give up one's own life for one's beloved?
Of course.
Although that treads dangerously near the precipice
of monstrously low self esteem,
"Of course, anyone's life is worth more than mine
because I don't know what love is.
So I can't love
myself,
and if I can't love
myself,
how can I love
another?"
I am not bad person
like a thief
or murderer.
I am pained
at the thought
of paining another.
I have loved before.
But where are they now?
Are they gone because
I didn't know what I was doing?
"Please forgive me, I love you.
Though I don't know what that means"
But I am working on it.
copyright 2007 Deborah Bolle
It seems strange to me that I must append codicils
when I tell someone that I love them.
"love, a word I don't toss about lightly,
neither do I keep it locked away.
Nor do i intend it to mean more
than makes you comfortable."
Or, "Please forgive me, I love you."
Or, "I hope you don't mind if i say
a prayer for you."
"I don't wish to make you uncomfortable,
but you are amazing."
What if i don't know what love is?
When, every day, your partner leaves her dirty breakfast dishes
because she is running late (again),
is it love not to be angry?
And even to do them yourself - not because they are in your way,
or because you are anal,
but because you would rather do them so that she doesn't have to.
Of course I love her.
She actually allows me
to get close enough
to touch
her.
Of course I love her.
Would one give up one's own life for one's beloved?
Of course.
Although that treads dangerously near the precipice
of monstrously low self esteem,
"Of course, anyone's life is worth more than mine
because I don't know what love is.
So I can't love
myself,
and if I can't love
myself,
how can I love
another?"
I am not bad person
like a thief
or murderer.
I am pained
at the thought
of paining another.
I have loved before.
But where are they now?
Are they gone because
I didn't know what I was doing?
"Please forgive me, I love you.
Though I don't know what that means"
But I am working on it.
copyright 2007 Deborah Bolle
Alone
i have been alone before.
More than once.
Or has it been the very same time
punctuated only by dreams?
Imaginings?
Desires?
If i can't tell
I think
I am in big trouble.
Am I being sucked
into the vacuum
of my heart?
I have been alone in a crowd.
I have also been alone
in a shared bed.
Sometimes cold feet are more than cold feet.
Is it still called spooning when each shape is right
but you are back to back?
copyright 2007 Deborah Bolle
Trust.
It doesn't really rhyme
but it somehow reminds me
of kindling.
A handful of fragility that goes up in smoke
at the slightest provocation.
Trust can be given to another
who will cherish it,
breathe of its essence,
caress it lovingly,
pledge to it eternity,
and end it with a flick.
copyright 2007 Deborah Bolle
